Sydney Falk: "Kinda Bonkers" Destroyer Of All is a user on You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.
Sydney Falk: "Kinda Bonkers" Destroyer Of All @sydneyfalk

does anybody else get bothered by the dudebro ascetic mindset some people have about blocking

where "blocking" is "weak" and "not blocking" is "strong" or "tough"

this has kept me from enormous amounts of self-care in the past, along with the "blocking punishes the blocked person" mindset

neither of these things is true

I just don't need certain kinds of bullshit on my stream and some people I want as much insulation from as possible

whatever I miss isn't, FOR ME, worth the bullshit, s'all

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@sydneyfalk I'm also bothered by people who take pride in getting blocked by others


it's the same thing pushed further, IMO

"oh wow if BLOCKING is weak then -- then ME BEING BLOCKED is a sign I WON! woooo! WOOOOO!"

@sydneyfalk Especially if they turn it into a competition: "You got blocked? Pfft that's nothing, I got blocked by 32 people!"

@sydneyfalk Same principle as with adblockers: It's for me to decide whom I allow to claim my attention.

Effective filtering has been a cornerstone of all useful group communication since forever.

@sydneyfalk blocking is smart. Not blocking is stupid.

@sydneyfalk but why are you writing about that... when I seldom block or mute people, I don't communicate - just act.


ah, but I'm not communicating TO THEM about it

I'm discussing the social aspect and why it's caused unhealthy results in general

people are proud of how little they apply any basic sense of compassion to things ("HA HA I TELL DEAD BABY JOKES") or how much they don't care

and now there's some fallout that IMO stems somewhat directly from it

I don't know how apathy became a badge of pride for some people when it's led/leading to monstrous things in the long run


most of the time when I block people I don't say anything, either because they scare me or because I know it'll lead to truly unproductive conversations for both of us

they'll call me "intolerant" of some awful shit, I'll explain patiently my actual position, they go off and pride themselves on being "open" and "not rejecting stuff out of hand"

the truth is that I WAS open to this shit for a long time

I'm not rejecting it out of hand

I'm rejecting it because it's shit


in a sense, THEY are rejecting the concept that some ideas are inherently bad

that some ideologies are inherently destructive

that "not caring" is somehow kind of awful

but they're not going to hear it, and I'm not going to bother (in most cases) trying to explain it to randos who tell three funny jokes a day and advocate terrible things -- why would I?

I have them blocked, and I'm not trying to tell them -- they, for all the "openness", can't hear the concept anyway

@sydneyfalk ok. Yes I was ignoring this aspects of your initial toot. I love discussions and exchange of positions or viewpoints. Most people here can stand that.
I have my view and background... and keep on to argue even when it seems sensless. But I stopp when the toots gets too personal...


> discussions and exchange of positions or viewpoints

I LIKE these too! But discussion and exchange of viewpoint usually isn't possible when the "destructive" ones are involved -- they're there to see who can "withstand" their shittiness. That's "winning" to them.

> Most people here can stand that.

this is kinda what I mean, though -- it's that insidious in its own way, even *I* use this kind of phrasing talking about this stuff

it's easy to fall into, it's everywhere :\


at the very least, they're suffering from a few deeply misguided notions about why people block

(often because of rebellion against the parentally-imposed "indoor voice" or bad social filtering experiences in school, IMO, but)


oh, undoubtedly

but IME there are people who literally "don't know better", they think that being a bully is the only way to operate successfully

they're not as common as people tend to hope they are, but they do exist, and I think they fall into it as "default" more than anything else

(which doesn't excuse things they do -- it's just that it CAN be easier to get them to see value in being less of an asshole all the time, versus the ones that straight up enjoy it)

@sydneyfalk As part of the strong/weak thing, there's often also this paternalistic, concern-trolling element: "I _worry_ that these people [who block] are hiding in their bubbles and not learning to Deal With Other Opinions."

As if people who block aren't seeking out and trying to understand various others & their experiences, just not on the free-speech dude-bro's terms.


it's always funny to me that the same concern trolls aren't examining the concept that they are rejecting social tools used for survival and psychological health maintenance solely because those social tools are "distasteful" to them

nah, examining THAT inner concept is unnecessary

much more important to offend people as much as possible and win lifetime asshole points >_>

@sydneyfalk It always strikes me as presumptuous, at best. Definitely rhetoric employing an "appeal to emotion". My dad uses a variant of it (insufficient room here to describe).

@dredmorbius often says "block early and often".

He can also tell you (based mostly on my G+ habits) that I'm one of the least block-inclined people around -- AND YET I have no problem with other people blocking aggressively for the sake of sanity and higher-quality discussion.