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Paul Muad'Dab

Pinned broadcast

by age 35 you should have your own portal to hell. not mooching off your parents

*nathan fielder voice* speedbumps are supposed to slow drivers down so that they don’t accidentally hit something. but most drivers still go as fast as possible over them and speed up afterwards. but what if the speedbumps were more attention-grabbing? then it would be much more likely that drivers slow down to the speed that the city planners want.

The plan: incentivize drivers to actually slow down at speedbumps by replacing them with fake corpses

Paul Muad'Dab rebroadcasted

i’m watching unsolved mysteries and there’s a mobster named LUCKY LUCIANO i feel like i’m losing my mind

new podcast idea Ciders & Cinema where i get buzzed on Stella Cidre and watch movies


The whole IHOb thing is either a Simulation error or a hologram to distract us from ghosts taking over our government

Paul Muad'Dab rebroadcasted

EA announces Star Wars Battletoads

@sroracle ask your doctor about Pleroma™️

Pleroma sounds more like some drug that would be advertised on US television than an STD

Paul Muad'Dab rebroadcasted

i am very amused thinking about the commentators talking about the tranq guy and the camera cutting back to him every few minutes as he observes the game through a scope

i've been thinking a lot about soccer. and i have an idea to make it more interesting for us american viewers.

instead of 11 players on the field, the home team gets to place 10 players on the field and one in the nosebleeds with a tranquilizer gun. the home team is allowed to tranquilize ANYONE for the duration of the game. they may only tranquilize one ref one time only for each game. but they only get 5 darts. 6 in FIFA regulation

can't wait to cheer for my team in the world cup oh wait.

love too be a psycho and post all day exclusively about software that i don’t even use

why are these stupid bears obsessed with toilet paper