God I miss having easy access to cannabis that didn't involve me needing to go outside. I miss the side effect of being able to just trivially impose over the body with what feels more correct. I miss the feeling of closeness to the girls that came with our high snuggles. I miss the easy communication and the effects on synesthesia. I miss the safe buzz feeling. I miss just existing without worrying as much. I miss being able to turn off anxiety attacks at will.
My life here in Montréal has been great though. I've been living with my fiancé like I've been dreaming of for half a decade. I had to give up my cannabis habit for that and it's been a really hard thing.
@cadey I admit... peopling ain't easy. I have been in the weirdest funk since thursday. Dunno if all this started hitting you then (I feel like somehow... we're connected sometimes). I honestly have spent the last three days wondering what I am all over again. Probably due to a seriously dramatic episode at work, but wow. I'm fragile. My composure is a thread suspending a ton of bricks. I got another mini shock tonight, and I'm puddling up with my own crew. This month was great and harsh
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