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Eliza's Rules Of Disorder @Elizafox

Expectation: Internet can survive nuclear strike
Reality: cut a fibre and entire websites go dark for hours

· Web · 4 · 7

@Elizafox There was a map in a museum I went to. One 5 MT nuke set off in Ottawa would take out most of the electronics in North America.

@Canageek Detonate something above North America at high altitude and yes, most electronics not shielded will be fried.

@Elizafox Right so even if the INTERNET is fine, all the stuff normal people use to CONNECT to it is toasted.

@bea @Elizafox Ottawa is also a pretty poor target for that. way off at the top left. Whatever you call the middle bit of the US would be a better target.

@Canageek @bea Geographical center of North America is a better bet, which happens to lie over North Dakota.

@Elizafox @bea RIGHT! That is where the farm that kept getting harassed by people due to a GeoIP company listing it as the location of any IP that they couldn't resolve further then America is.

@Canageek @bea Yup.

I do recall though that detonating over the Canadian Shield might be more ideal or something because of the geography? I don't remember.

@Canageek @bea @Elizafox Was it a Canadian museum? We love to overplay our importance. "Obviously, some villain would attempt to nuke Ottawa, since it's the nation's capital."

@ink_slinger @bea @Elizafox Yes, Diefenbunker. Technically it was centered on an air force base just outside of Ottawa.

To be fair, the map was in a nuclear bunker outside of Ottawa, designed to be used in case a nuke was dropped on Ottawa.

@Canageek @bea @Elizafox Ah, the Diefenbunker. Classic Cold War Canadiana.

@ink_slinger @bea @Elizafox I was living in Deep River at the time, would have been hard justifying not going.

Huh. I wonder if anyone would have bothered bombing AECL? They made nukes there, unofficially, but not like they had ones ready to use there.

@ink_slinger @bea @Elizafox You know, I bet Gander, Nfld was a nuke target at one point. Busiest airport in the world for a long time, until planes could make the trip across the Atlantic without refuelling.

@Canageek @bea @Elizafox That's probably true. As a side note, I'd love to explore the closed sections of the Gander Airport. I've flown out of there a few times and the part that's open is tiny and kinda crappy, but there's got to be some cool, retro stuff in the older sections that are no longer in use.

@ink_slinger @bea @Elizafox Might be able to find pictures from September 11th. When the US closed their airspace Gander was reopened as it still has the capacity to take a crazy number of planes and only gets a few a day normally. Apparently the entire town was turned out to help.

@Canageek @bea @Elizafox They even made a really bad TV movie about it!

@ink_slinger @bea @Elizafox I heard there was a gander movie up for awards, not what it was specifically about.

@nev @Canageek @bea @Elizafox Perfect title, of course. I don't know anything about the musical. I saw part of a bad TV movie once.

@nev @ink_slinger @Canageek @bea You could make a musical about someone taking a dump in the middle of a park and it'd be a hit tho

People like musicals about anything

@Elizafox @nev @ink_slinger @bea Gander actually strikes me as a good subject. Town that iddn't even exist till WWII, built to fly planes from Canada (and then Canada and US) to Britain for the war. First flight from it is a wave of Lancaster Bombers. There are five of them, only one has a map and compass, they are told if they get separated, to aim for England. They do get split up in fog, but all five make it anyway.

@bea @ink_slinger @nev @Elizafox Then this tiny rural village becomes the busiest airport in the world once commercial flights become popular. Castro goes sledding there, only time he ever saw snow. Then slowly 737s and 747s take over, and people stop coming.

@Elizafox @nev @ink_slinger @bea Until one day, this forgotten town is called to be heroes once again and save hundreds of planes that have no where else to go when the US closes its airspace.

@Canageek @Elizafox @nev @bea Now I want to write a fictionalized history of Gander. I wonder if I can conscript my in-laws to go digging in the town and/or provincial archives, since they live in Newfoundland (and relatively close to Gander).

The reason the Internet can't /really/ survive a nuclear strike anymore is simple: the military isn't the one who builds it anymore. Infrastructure is done for the lowest possible prices now, not for the maximum amount of resiliency. They don't care about anarchist goals or nuclear strikes or any of that. They care about money.

@Elizafox Ah, the infamous "backhoe fade".
Many years back, the NANOG annual T-shirt was a backhoe with the red slashed circle. Ship anchors are their marine cousins.

Major backbones are harder to disrupt, but not impossible. Those are more often taken out by software faults/attacks.

@Elizafox You don't even have to cut anything. Remember how a Google engineer took down most of Japan's internet by misconfiguring some BGP advertisement?