I'm going to try to make a commitment to get better. I can't be this nervous train wreck that certain people are either afraid to get emotionally close to, because they're afraid they'll get hurt too; or they learn can't handle me so they keep themselves at a distance.
I can't go through life being like this anymore. No matter what the hell has happened to me.
I've sort of made this commitment before but I want to double down on it now and really reinforce myself. I've had a rough week but the past day or two I've been trying to reaffirm to myself that I'm a decent person, worth loving, who deserves happiness, and isn't a piece of shit just cause some bad shit happened to me that stretched my coping mechanisms to the breaking point.
I spent years just isolating myself and hoping it'd get better, and when I stopped isolating myself, I hoped that would help me get better, too. Shocker: the problems are still there, and time alone won't fix it. I have to *work* on them, but at least I have an idea of where to start and where I'm going.
@Elizafox while i aint that certain person, I know the feel all too well. It combines with introversion and makes a super deadly cocktail of issues. No one is usually around for my venting so I wanted to reply to yours to make sure you get that.
@Elizafox you have hard work in front of you, but it can be done Wish you success!
@Elizafox Sending <3 <3 <3
@Elizafox I'm so proud of you for not only realising this but committing to learn how to heal. Bravo!
this is mst3k