@Elizafox "if you're so smart, why can't you convince anybody that your actions are correct?"

I admit I've been an ass sometimes. I've said and done things I've regretted. I've said things I thought were polite but were rude. Unless I'm angry these things are not on purpose.

My autism is an /explanation/ for these things. I don't think it excuses me. I ask others for patience and to realise I'm not malicious, and to at least let me say I'm sorry. I am not asking for a free pass to be a jerk.

@Elizafox That's a very mature attitude. It's refreshing to see. You're miles ahead of many people, even those without autism. Keep on doing you, you're pretty cool :)

@Elizafox As I've been an autist which seemed to match Asperger the most, I can relate to this indeed. At first I didn't understand what others were getting angry/sad/bad/hurt for, but as soon as I realized I got really worried about it and started to change that. There's no excuse for being a jerk as soon as you know you're being so and why it is bad.

@Elizafox pretty much this. Autism can be an explanation as to why you respond a certain way (missed social cues, sensory issues, what have you) but that doesn't make the response okay.

@Elizafox Wider perspective. I'm not autistic, but my youngest son is, also, a lot of the kids where I teach. There's a WIDE spectrum to autism, from very low functioning to what other people might consider "normal" if they don't look very close. And autism, being not a diagnosis but a syndrome, is complicated. Every autistic person is unique in their autism.

@Elizafox Some can be smart as whips, but socially practically dead. They really don't understand how stuff they do can be considered mean or rude. They've no concept, and can't develop one. It's chemistry.

@Elizafox Others have a more nuanced view of what they are doing and the consequences of their actions. Then there is everyone in between. Autistic people can't use their autism as an excuse to be mean or inconsiderate, but, while showing them the error of their perspective, we often have to remember that they might have trouble seeing things as a so-called "normal" person would.

@Elizafox My son has a uni view of the universe. It's him, no one else. He isn't selfish, he just can see beyond himself. It's more than a little saddening knowing that when your kid says he loves you, he's only saying it because that's the norm he sees in society. It looks like the right thing to say to your parent, so you do. Because that's how you wish to see yourself, as a person who loves their parents, whatever love is.

@StephanLoy @Elizafox

I like to imagine we all learn by imitation to some degree, even emotionally -- some of us just develop emotionally at different rates than others.

Maybe he *can* mean it, or does mean it sometimes.

If anything, you should be glad you're not the kind of parent who simply "requires" normal behavior because that's what *they* see in society.

They're quite unpleasant, I assure you.

@sydneyfalk @Elizafox Yeah, I try to do what I can grasp is best for both my kids, understanding that they are who they are. In the end, that's who all of us are, and there's a very wide spectrum between self-sacrificing, universal love saint, and psychopath. And those two extremes are the only ones we have to keep an eye on. One has to be protected from itself. The other we have to protect ourselves from. My kids aren't anywhere near either extreme.

@sydneyfalk @Elizafox PS: I'm coming off reading a spider apocalypse novel. I swat imaginary spiders off my person about six times an hour. So not presently a big fan of robot spider babies.

@StephanLoy @Elizafox

eep. well, sorry, uh, that I'm working on some? :\ FWIW they're not going to resemble spiders except for the body shape. they're gonna talk, they're gonna have two eyes (most likely, possibly a third for a separate IR sensor but I'm still working on the design)

still, understandable. :( <3 sorries.